Last night I went to my first Trilogy rehearsal. There were 30-40 women sitting around a room, feeling nervous and a little apprehensive. None of us really knew what to expect, what we would be doing over the next 3 hours or if we’d actually be able to go through with the final (naked) performance.

The organisers, Nic Green and her cast, were very gentle with us. We started out sitting in a circle, introducing ourselves, explaining why we were there and what had drawn us to the project. There were lots of different reasons. Women had come along to confront their own body-demons or to celebrate their bodies because they felt they finally felt good in their own skin. A lot of people said it was because dancing naked on stage was a good way to challenge themselves, others because they liked to be naked in a non-sexual environment and this felt like a rare and wonderful opportunity to do that. There were women who wanted to just do something crazy or who wanted to work with other women. A lot of people said how nervous they were, that they weren’t really sure why they were there.

I think I covered some of my own reasons in an earlier post; because I felt it was an interesting thing to get involved in, because the show sounded like something I would be really interested in. That’s why I sent off the e-mail to Kate saying “yeah, I’ll do that.” I think I was actually there last night, just to prove to myself a little bit that I can do this.

I am really nervous about being naked on stage, not because I have a problem with how I look naked but because I feel it will make me vunerable. The Project is a reasonably big venue and Dublin is a pretty small town. It’s very likely that I will meet people afterwards who will have seen the show, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

So, yes I’m nervous, but I’m not backing out. And there are lots of reasons that I am determined to do this; 1) I’d feel like such a coward if I gave up and I got a couple of friends from roller derby to sign-up to do it too which is an added motivation to stick with it; 2) I know that I will feel really proud of myself for doing it and 3) the rehearsal yesterday was the most incredible fun! The dance is fun and lively, the song we’re dancing to is fantastic and it looked brilliant. Everyone in the room was having a great time.

After we introduced ourselves, we did a quick, silly warm-up and then started learning the dance. We all stayed fully clothed yesterday and just concentrated on learning the steps and getting to know each other. It was a really great three hours. I left the rehearsal yesterday really buzzing from all the dancing and all the great women I’d meet. I miss working in a group like that. I’m heading out to the second rehearsal now. I’m not sure if we’ll be expected to get naked today, but I’m looking forward to it anyway.